Ep#32 Wellness Warriors: Charge Money, Heal Your Lineage
Access to you is an expensive privilege, because what has been poured into you goes beyond money.
There’s all the ways you’ve worked so hard to create healthy boundaries so that you can live your life in peace.
By the way, the more you choose to assert these boundaries, the more people are going to want to test them. These are people who are coming from a place of lack and scarcity who are going to want to pull you down to their level. And the more you spend your time trying to defend or prove yourself, the more taxing that is going to be in the long run.
But if you are able to practice this and to intentionally pour into the life you want to create and the type of people who light you up, who value what you have to offer, the more you are going to attract those very things, and the more time we spend actually celebrating what it is we have and celebrating each other. That energy gets amplified for all of us when you win, when I win, we all win. It just means that it is possible for even more of us to step into these frequencies. Energy is going to grow where your attention goes. So where is it that you are going to choose to deposit your energy? And if you find yourself being around people and places where you constantly feel like you got to prove yourself or you can't take up space or you can't win, because if you do, that makes other people feel less than, then it is time to shift your surroundings because you are not responsible for other people's misery as much as you are for their joy.
You can only be responsible for you.
And damn, it really makes me think about how colonization has done a number on us in getting so many people of color to believe and not just people of color, women and maybe just everyone to believe that that there is this lack. So where is this coming from?
A couple of days ago I was tagged in a post that wanted to hold me accountable in pledging my money to the underprivileged. Why? Because I talk about how I have gotten to a place where I've made over six figures in sales last year in 2020, during the pandemic, I generated over $140,000 worth of revenue in sales, which to me was mind-blowing because that money is definitely not in my bank account. I probably invested at least $60,000 into my own coaches and mentors and systems and accountants and all these other things to just figure out how to even run a business in the first place.
I wasn't even looking at my numbers, by the way. I only knew how much I made because I hired a bookkeeper to do my numbers so that I could just focus on being in service to my clients. And when I saw those numbers, I could not believe my eyes and I bragged about it. I shared it on my social media. And the intention was not to say, "Hey, look at me, I have all of this money." The real intention behind it was to say, "Dang, I never thought that this would be possible in my life, that I could actually get paid to do this kind of healing work and that it can feel good."
And so, of course, this other sister who happens to be Asian-American as well, tagged me and several other coaches, asking us to pledge our money to the underprivileged, at least $500 to $1000 dollars of our income; but the way that it came off, the way that I read it was, "How dare you have all of this money and not distribute it? It's disgusting that anybody should have that much. And wellness is so inaccessible. Therapists charge at least $150 an hour if you don't have insurance. And then there's coaches like me who are charging $250 per session and there's masterminds that are at least $15,000 for just one person. And guess what? OK, I see that that's being called out. And I have invested that much and even more.
But I would gladly invest $15,000 if I knew that, if I put in the work, I could have another $140,000+ years instead of wasting all of this money and time like I did before I ever hired my first coach and mentor to try and do everything by myself because I was too prideful, because I didn't want help from anybody, because I'm a strong, brown, independent woman.
And by the way, when I was tagged in this post, it was linked to a GoFundMe page that was created to raise money for others to not have to pay for her program. So the intention was good and I love that. But when it comes off as if we're not doing enough to support others, then that kind of energy actually repels. And this is going to be the same for you if you want to get paid for your medicine. If you're coming from a place of desperation, it's kind of like dating. I say this to my clients: Whenever you're getting into a relationship with someone, the moment that your energy shows off as clingy or "I need you," what does it do? It pushes other people away. I don't want any of that.
And so while I have the money to be able to donate to this campaign, if it's going to be coming from this energy of, "You have to do this," or if there's any inkling of bullying, which there's some passive aggressiveness there, then I don't want that. Not only that, but to make the assumption that the money I am making is what I'm keeping is terribly off, because when healers have more money, we're able to do good things with it. That money is not just mine to keep. I'm also reading another book right now called It's Not Your Money by Tosha Silver and it is just rocking my world and affirming so much of this new relationship I've been cultivating with money.
My new money mantra is: "The more money I make, the more I can give, the more that I can help others, the more opportunities I can provide."
I'm not running this business on my own. I have an amazing team that's actually helping me to run this podcast so that all I get to do is just record and share stories. And then I send it off to my team to edit it and post the pictures and make sure that all of you are cared for. And the same goes with so much of the back end of my business, because when I first started my business, I was doing everything by myself, y'all. I was the accountant. I was admin. I was everything. And it was expensive in the long run. I was charging low because I wanted to be accessible.
But consequentially, what happened?
I created so many payment plans for people. And while I am being the coach and setting up the emails and doing all the things, I also got to be the one to collect money and make sure the payments are going through. And guess what? Sometimes I would be so caught up in one task and in one role that the payments would fall off. And there was a point where I had a nine month program before and it was towards the end of my program where I thought I set up automatic payments.
But when I looked back at my accounts, there was at least three months where people's auto pay was actually turned off. And it's so awkward to go back and be like, "Hey, you owe me $1500," and then people can just go because they got whatever it is they needed. And that's not on them. That's not their fault. And as a small business owner, I have to take ownership for that. I have to take the loss. And I did have several clients who just stopped paying altogether, who stopped showing up because I had really shitty boundaries. Your business is also going to grow to the extent of your boundaries.
And so now that I actually charge more, I can invest in sacred support to help me do the things that are genuinely not in my zone of genius. I can invest in maternity leave for my assistant so that she can also rest so that she has an abundance of money to also invest in her dreams and her family. And imagine how many more jobs I can provide if I am able to even call in even more abundance into my life.
So when I was tagged into this post, I also had to discern if I was incredibly triggered or if I was just annoyed AF, because this is a big fear for a lot of people who want to come into business. They don't want to get called out. They don't want to get shamed by other people in their community, especially if you come from the social justice world where we're all anticapitalist and we want everything to be accessible. I came from that world and I honestly feel like this is why it's taking me so long to be able to grow my business because of all the stories I was telling myself.
Was I triggered or was I just annoyed? And after some careful reflection, I saw that it was someone I used to know:
Because when I was broke, I hoarded resources even more than when I had money. I spent a lot of time being bitter, angry, untrustworthy and jealous of people who had more than me. And like the sister, I demanded that others who had more, give more; which absolved my responsibility from having to do anything, from needing to make anything. As long as I stay broke and struggling, I don't have to get called out. I don't have to give anything.
So it's OK. I see it because I have been there before and I surrounded myself with other people who were constantly speaking about what it is they didn't have versus what it is they were grateful for and what it is they were creating to be the solution to a lot of these problems that we see in the world. And I didn't know that unconsciously. I was repelling the abundance that was screaming at me to receive.
So a lot of people dream about making that six-figure income, right? And yes, I can speak to it now from the other side. But what people don't know is what it costs to get there. If only you could see the countless hours of love and labor that goes behind the scenes to make this experience of our customers, our clients and our students feel seamless, such as this podcast.
If only people knew the entrepreneurial roller coaster of feast and famine, having 30, 40k months, 10k months into the next month; having zero dollars. And oh, if only people knew about the tears and the total shame and guilt when my balance actually said positive instead of negative. Why? Because I wasn't used to seeing it and I had to ask myself, "Am I worthy? Do I deserve this? Isn't this supposed to feel good?"
Because here's the thing. If we are not working our capacity, if we are not working on our capacity to receive right now, then all of that shame and that guilt that you are caring is only going to expand tenfold when you do make that ten thousand dollars. If you are not comfortable receiving $10, imagine what it's going to be like when you receive $100,000, because when I received over $100,000, I freaked out. So I had to go back and do the inner work of knowing that it is safe for me to do so. And when I was able to do that and really meditate on the concept of, "It's not my money. It's God's money. I'm just here to be the conduit of this love."
And I'm not talking about God as some mysterious white man in the clouds that is here to save us. That's another relationship I've been healing, by the way. But just as God as this abundant love. How is it that I choose to define God as someone that's forgiving, that just loves to give and give and give without expecting anything too much in return, but just trusting that from this source of love, I will always be provided for?
And what does giving to me look like? It looks like being able to create jobs, to employ and to contract others to allow this abundance to flow. And who is it that I contract? Others that society would deem as underprivileged: other black, indigenous people of color who instead of starting a nonprofit or a charity, I get to provide jobs. And there's nothing wrong if you want to do a charity instead, but just don't go into business, then. Look at a nonprofit model instead of coming at people who look like you and trying to hold us accountable for making sure that we are dispersing this abundance.
You want to see how much it costs to run a business? Be my guest because I'm an open book. But instead I would rather invite you to also step into this frequency, to allow yourself to receive. Investing $15,000 in a mastermind... I've done that multiple times at this point, and I'm grateful to say for myself that I've been able to make it back tenfold.
But it took me at least three years to get here because of all of the stories that I was telling myself about needing to do it all alone and the pride that I carried with that. And guess what? You don't have to charge a bunch of money for what it is you do. You don't have to charge "high ticket", as they call it, to have a successful business. You don't have to charge $15,000 for your program or $250. You can charge $5 for your product. You can sell cookies for all I care. You don't even have to have a business at all.
But the more energy that's invested in bringing others down with you versus lifting others up is going to be taxing in the long run. It's going to cost you so much in the long run, more than just money, but your mental health and your sanity as you get caught into this comparison loop and just... God, calling other people out is emotional labor that you're not getting compensated for and it is draining.
So if you want others to invest in your vision, especially other people who look like you, aim to inspire instead of shame. Collaborate with us instead of calling us out or... Mind your own business.
You are not my competition. I want to see you win. I want to see all of us win. But I am happy to love you and see you do that from a very, very, very far distance. And if you are somebody who is feeling called to receive the sacred support and mentorship, then the doors are open. If you want to join my program, you don't even have to join my program, by the way, because I believe that there are enough mentors available for all of us. There's enough coaches. Find somebody that you can learn from and run with it.
And then maybe you'll find that the ways that they are teaching are not in total alignment with you. But guess what? At least you can learn from those mistakes. And they may be very, very costly ones. But I feel like my business is just an amalgamation of all of the fuckups and all of the mistakes that I have made in the past. And so you can spend the hundreds of thousands of dollars I have or you can just pay the fifteen thousand dollars to learn what it is I wish I knew three, four years ago.
By the way, I don't charge that much for my services. And I want to say another thing, because I know that there's some of you who are probably collecting money from Venmo, PayPal, and these other ways to avoid transaction fees. And there's an energy to that as well. And it's OK because I did it in the beginning. Well, mainly because I didn't know how to collect money.
But the reality is transaction fees are going to cost you about three percent of whatever it is you charge. And before, I used to feel so salty about that. "Ugh, Stripe and PayPal are taking my money. I'd rather just collect off of Venmo." Venmo was a service that was created for friends and family to be able to split bills when it comes to eating out or groceries. It's not meant as a place for business transactions. I know that that is shifting because of how many business transactions are taking place there.
But when you can set up these sacred systems, you can pay those transaction fees knowing that this is the cost, this is the investment of being able to do business. And there's somebody who created this platform to make it easier for us to be able to receive money for our services. And there's a beauty in that. There's a beauty in me being able to invest in a platform like Zoom that now allows me to have clients all around the world.
And I have so many other systems that I am gladly investing in because it allows me to have a more easeful process when it comes to sharing my medicine and empowering others to share theirs as well. This is the way that abundance gets circulated. And when money comes to healers, to people with good intentions and good hearts, it is actually being cleansed from all of the filth that it has been through. And I'm able to invest in healers of my own to support me whenever I'm feeling low energy.
I'm able to invest in more mentorship. I'm able to dream about the ways that I can create intergenerational wealth so that my future children, if I ever have children, know that it is safe for them, too, to pursue their dreams, to not feel like they need to hustle and burn themselves out like many of us have been taught.
So what is the kind of legacy that you want to leave behind? The money story that you get to heal? And will you allow yourself to open up to receive this abundance so that you, too, can allow it to flow, so that you can create jobs (if that's what you're feeling called to do)? So that you can pick up and move to a healthier environment? So that you can invest in your dreams? Imagine all the things that you can do with money. Do not be driven by money itself, but the ways that we can use it to heal the planet.
And so, of course, this is where I do my little call-to-action, because these are the things that I honestly teach in my business. This is what I feel so lit up to do, and at least for myself, in the ways that I run my program "Roots to Rise", the foundation of being able to birth our sacred offerings first must begin with our stories: the stories that we will tell to the next generation; the stories from our ancestors that we are reclaiming and excavating and, most importantly, the stories that we tell ourselves.
So, if you are telling yourself that, "I am not worthy. Nobody would invest in my services or my medicine. I'm not allowed to take up space because what I do makes other people feel smaller," let's switch that story.
What would it be like for you to be in an environment where when one person wins, we all win?
When one person makes money, it's as if we've all made money. What gets celebrated gets amplified. And imagine being in that energy all the time. And that to me, what is what lights me up. I'm just creating the very space that my younger self needed. And there's a version of you, a younger version of you, that darn well knows that, wow, if you knew what it is you knew today, it wouldn't have been as painful of a process to get to where you are now.
So, how is it that you can create something that is in service of that, knowing that there are hundreds and thousands of people all around the world that are praying for that same thing?
If this is something that calls to you, the next round begins in August. I'm choosing to run it probably three times a year now, and I'm creating my business in a way where I can take a long, sacred pause during the wintertime because I've just realized three, four years going into business that I tend to have my slump around that time.
And we're not meant to work every day. We're meant to have these moments of sacred rest. And you can do that. When you have your own business, you can choose to create the life it is you want and you get to show the world how it is to treat you.
This is a part of the intergenerational healing that we are weaving through our businesses, through our sacred offerings.
So I'm excited to see what it is you are going to create. You are so deserving. You are so worthy.
You are enough.
You don't need any more certifications right now.
How is it that we can just cultivate what it is you already have that is stirring in your womb space? And will you allow yourself to receive? To have a life doula or a midwife to be able to birth that which is just asking for you to allow it to be seen to the world, whether it is with me or somebody else?
But I am here. I am cheering you on from the other side of your fears. And I know that it is available to all of us. To every single one of us.
You are not my competition.
And I am so genuine when I say that I want to see you win, too. Let's go so much further when we choose to do it together.
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